Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Great Email

Every once in awhile I'll get a "forwarded" email that is too good to keep for myself. I know this is a long posting, but take your time and digest it. You won't be sorry! Thanks to Mike Harris for this one!

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the crap was going on when I first saw it.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

How the crap are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger..

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent an idiot from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the crap do I respond to that?

It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat blob before dinner.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Time For An Update!

Sam's updating his blog as we speak so I guess I should do the same since it's been too long!

We've been chicken-with-its-head-cut-off busy lately, but nothing blog-worthy-ish. Nobody has had stitches, nobody has done something really bizarre, Cameron still isn't napping....

However, here is a little snippet of my life lately:

Parker told me a few weeks ago "Mom? I feel like I'm being watched...but not by you, not by Carson, not by Cameron, and not by Dad either." I told him he better be good or else this "ghost" would haunt him for the rest of his life. Well, I wish I had the guts to say that. That would have totally messed him up!

Let's see, what else have I been up to...

We attended the Oquirrh Mountain Temple Dedication last Saturday, inside the temple. It was so good! Carson was with us and I swear he sat more reverent than me! The talks were great and I'm so thankful to belong to this temple district. It's beautiful and we have our first session there this coming Saturday with our ward. Can't wait!

In other news, Sam and I have tried working on a budget. It's scary, it's daunting, and seemingly impossible. It will be interesting, to say the least. It will also be good for us. I'm looking forward to the challenges ahead and hopefully solutions are quick to follow! My last day with Beneficial is on the 31st of this month. I only have 4 more days of employment. So weird. I went into work last Friday and cleaned out my desk. It was very surreal. It wasn't shed-a-tear sad, it was just odd and left me feeling kind of numb. I don't know how to explain it very well. I had 13 years of memories packed into my cubicle drawers. Oddly enough, I threw most of it away. I'm not known to be the nostalgic type. All I brought home were 2 manila folders and my old tape dispenser. That's what 13 years of employment were reduced to. Like I said...numbing. I also cleaned off my personal emails and odds'n'ends from my computer. I found a few fun pictures:

Look at this picture closely. It's Albert Einstein. Now walk about 10 feet away and look at the picture again. It's Marilyn Monroe. Whoah-a.

A few years ago Beneficial Life moved from a tall building downtown to a smaller building just to the East. In the old building, we had the 24th through 26th floors, which were the top floors of the building. One of the employees took this picture of the final sunset from the roof and emailed it to everyone. It's awesome!

My boss was working on a calendar and needed a picture of a "new years baby". Cameron was only 6 weeks old and she called and asked me to take his picture and make it look like a New Years baby. So, I took a picture of him in his diaper and then emailed it to my friend, Toni, who is brilliant with PhotoShop. She added the accessories and VOILA! A New Year's Baby. I love this picture!

Enough nostagia...oh wait, one more thing:

If you have ever been a part of the Prairie 5th ward we are having a Prairie 5th Ward Reunion! PLEASE COME! Cathy Gilmore is the event master-mind. Here are the details:

When: Friday, September 18th
Time: 6:00pm - 9:00pm
Location: Southwood Park 6150 S. 725 E. Murray, UT

It's a park, so bring your family and come hang out!

And finally, I mowed the backyard tonight in the dark. Sam was mowing but then church duties called him elsewhere. I finished for him but was laughing so hard because I could see nothing! I can't wait to look at it tomorrow to see how bad I butchered it! At least it's the backyard...

Monday, August 17, 2009

Crazy Cameron

It's not a traditional nap, but I'll take it. Here is what Cameron looks like right now. He's snoring and everything!

Friday, August 14, 2009

A Little Nostalgia

Today, and for the past few weeks, Cameron has really been testing my small reserves of patience. This morning when he was crying at 6:30am I determined that I needed a break. I took my kids to school then brought Cameron to my mom. She graciously offered to keep him until I picked Parker up from Kindergarten. I was elated! I had 2 whole hours to myself.

I came home, plugged in Pandora Radio and listened to the "80's throwback, 90's comeback" station REALLY loud. In fact, if you live in my neighborhood, I'm sorry if you heard it. I just needed to be able to work without anybody saying "mommy?" and that old school music was the perfect thing to fill the unusual silence!

This station is my favorite one right now. I heard songs I hadn't heard since I was in elementary school and jr high!

Guns N Roses (Sweet Child O Mine is super awesome), Tom Petty, Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, Def Leppard, AC/DC... it all took me back to a simpler time when I had almost no responsibilities.

Up to the age of 13 I lived in a really tiny town in Southeastern Idaho. When I wasn't in school I was riding my bike around the block or jumping on the trampoline. We had a ditch behind my house so we'd play in it sometimes. I never thought it was weird that a cow pie would float past me, it was just part of the country life! We had a pet snake and that was normal. Our cat had babies every year because I don't think anybody knew what it meant to "fix" their pets! We had a huge garden. I remember one summer my friends and I would dare each other to take a huge bite out of an onion (like an apple) from my parents garden. It wasn't until I was listening to these songs this morning, and I was thinking back to those days, that I thought "Huh, I wonder if that irritated my mom to find onions in her garden that had bites out of them?"

So, after all these years....Mom, I'm sorry for eating your onions. If it's any consolation, it was really gross. I think I gagged a few times.

In the fall of 1988 we moved to Seattle and I went to High School during the popular grunge era. Nirvana anyone? My closet was full of flannel plaid shirts and Birkenstocks. I left behind Guns N Roses, and my simple life, and began High School. I got my first real job (shout-out to NAPA Auto Parts!) and started filling out college applications. That move ended my carefree childhood, which is good, because we all need to grow up sometime.

However, this morning, I had 2 hours of carefree time where I got to listen to "Paradise City", "Sweet Emotion", "It's My Life", and "November Rain". Axl Rose put it perfectly in "November Rain" when he sings "everybody needs sometime on your own, everybody needs some time all alone". Thank you Axl. I couldn't have said it better myself!

Sunday, August 09, 2009


Yesterday Sam and I decided to share our wedding anniversary with our children. We hiked Donut Falls. I've heard of this hike for years but I've never actually taken the time to experience it for myself.

I must say....we saw some pretty country! Very fun hike and easy for kids too! Parker was pretty funny because he kept tripping and barely catching himself before he fell. Each time I would say "good save" and he would reply "yep...again" in a monotone voice. That kid cracks me up!

Carson would run ahead of us and then hide in a bush and scare the be-jee-bees out of me as I walked by. Then he would laugh a demented laugh and run past me to do it all over again. He gave me about 13 heart attacks because he would climb a really steep part of the trail and instead of carefully climbing back down, he would run FULL SPEED ahead with the momentum of the mountain. I kept thinking "oh man, which hospital is closest to us that will take our insurance" because I was sure we were going to need stitches or a cast to set a broken leg! He never fell, not even once! Sam kept chuckling while I kept gasping.

Cameron was just happy as pie to be riding on his dad's back! See?

We have a book that talks about 25 hikes in the Salt Lake area, ranked from easiest to hardest. I think Donut Falls was like #8 or #9. We are slowing working our way down the list. It's been really fun! We've had some fun adventures so far. Remember this? My mom found that gem of a rock on one of the hikes from our book!

This picture of Cameron cracks me up. He's pointing at the waterfall. Check out the "writing" on the tree behind him. Appropriate for a wedding anniversary hike don't you think??

More fun:

C'mon Carson, he's not heavy...he's your brother.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Yay For Me...Yay For Parker!

Yay for me:
Today Sam and I celebrate our 11th anniversary together. We've had a great marriage, haven't we Sam? Sam? Honey? Right?

Seriously though, last night we went to dinner and a movie and on the way home we were analyzing the past 11 years. We truly have been each other's best friend.
Sam still makes me laugh really hard daily, he's so dang funny and random.
He's really laid back which is good for me because I tend to be a nervous nelly a lot so he keeps me in line that way.
He loves hanging out with our boys and has no problem taking all 3 by himself to run errands.
I never see him get overwhelmed by crazy kids, he just thinks it's funny!
He works hard and is very dedicated to his responsibilities.
I've never met a more service-oriented person than Sam. If somebody needs help, his first reaction is to drop whatever he is doing so he can offer his time and talents.
If Sam doesn't know how to do something, he has no fear in trying to figure it out....and he ALWAYS succeeds! It's amazing to me!
Let's not forget his baby blue eyes and mile-long eyelashes! Wowsers!!

Okay, you get the idea, I love my husband tremendously and I'm so thankful that he puts up with me every single day. He's so patient with me and I love him more now than ever!

Yay for Parker:
Parker started Kindergarten this past Tuesday. I'm such a lame mother the second time around because this is the picture I got of him on his first day:

It's kind of artsy, check out the shadows on the wall behind him! Too bad the sun was directly in his eyes. Not sure what he's doing with his left hand. It's ALMOST like he's trying to provide a fig leaf for the shadow on the wall! ha ha ha ha!

I felt bad at the picture I got so when he got home that day I took another picture of him. Here's the Parker I know and love!

He loves school. He has the same teacher that Carson did, Mr. Mednick. I laugh every day as he lines up for school because when other kids come to get in line, he backs up further down the line and let's everybody get in front of him. All the other kids play on the playground before school starts, but Parker stands in line, usually towards the front. Because he's so nice, by the time his line walks into school, he's dead last! It makes me laugh so hard that I haven't taught him the rules of "standing in line".

So now I have 2 kids in school and Cameron and I hang out at home. Too bad Cameron stopped taking naps the exact day that Parker started school! Talk about rotten timing!

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Clark Reunion 2009 - Island Park, Idaho

Unlike the Sweet reunion, we don't have a Clark reunion every year. However, this year the stars aligned and we were able to be together for a really enjoyable week!

I have 3 brothers. No sisters, just bros. Here we are on the last night there. I think it's the only picture that was taken of the Clark kids. Too bad because I'm in my PJ's! In order of the picture: Carrie, Michael, Darren, Curtis. In order of oldest to youngest it goes: Darren, Michael, Carrie, Curtis. We all have lots and lots of gray hair.

Mike, Kim, and their girls (Courtney and Camilla) flew here from Indiana. Before we went to Island Park we had a few days to hang out. One night we went to Silver Lake by Brighton ski resort. It's a fun little walk around the lake and the temperature was about 25 degrees cooler up there! SCORE!

A few days later we all caravan'd it up to Island Park Idaho. Thanks to my parents, they hooked us up with the most amazing cabin! Each family had their own bedroom and bathroom. There was plenty of room to roam and plenty of places to play. Our cabin had a private boat dock. We hadn't even unloaded the cars and the "kids" (some parents included) were already swimming!

As everybody was hanging around the water, we saw a weird bird fly into the water. It wasn't until we got a closer look that we realized it was a bat! My brother saved the bat from the water. It was all I could do to keep my kids from touching
the bat! They couldn't understand why I was freaking out...Rabies, Race for the Cure!

Here's the back of our cabin, from the perspective of the boat dock:

Now turn around and here's the view of the water from the boat dock. Straight across the Island Park Reservoir from us was Bill's Island, which is I guess why they call this place "Island Park".

Now look Left from the dock:

Now look Right from the dock: This picture is courtesy of my brother Darren

That first night we were entertained by Darren stories. I didn't even know Sam was taking pictures of us but I like this picture because we are all laughing so hard.

A huge shout-out to Fern and Russ for letting us borrow their canoes and suburban for the trip! They were well used!

In fact, we are thankful we came home with both canoes because one almost got away! Sam told us we should pull them onto the grass and we all balked at him because they were tied to the dock and so why should we pull them out of the water? Well, at some point in the late evening hours one canoe did get loose and float away. Darren and Sam had to take a 1am canoe ride all over the reservoir until they found it somewhere around 2:30am. Sorry Sam, we'll listen to you from now on! Maybe...

The next day we ventured into Yellowstone National Park.

Our first stop was the Painted Pots. Who doesn't love boiling mud?

Darren took this picture, with his polarized sunglasses in front of the lens. I like it because you can see deeper into the water.

We got to Old Faithful about 10-15 minutes before everyone said it was supposed to erupt. We were starving for lunch but didn't want to miss it so we waited....and waited....and waited....I swear we waited for 45 - 50 minutes until it erupted. Sheesh, that geyser should be called "Sometimes Faithful!". We managed to have fun while waiting, we always do.
Then by the time the geyser erupted, we were so busy getting pictures I honestly don't remember much about it. Good one!

Later in the day we did some hikes and took pictures at observations points. It was such beautiful country! The best part: The temperature never passed the low 70's. If you know anything about me and my feelings regarding hot weather, you'll know that I was a happy camper in Island Park/Yellowstone! Darren took the following pictures - I need to give credit where credit is due!

Sam took these pictures:

Our last full day there we just hung around and did whatever we wanted. It was my favorite day. Very relaxing and enjoyable!

Cameron just chilled with sunglasses over his eyes and fingers in his mouth. He was happy.

Our good friends, Traci and Daryl Bateman, have a cabin in Island Park and they just happened to be at their cabin the same week we were there. So we called them and hung out with them! They took us to a place called "Warm Springs". We fed the fish.

Then we went to a little cabin built by Johnny Sack in the early 1900's. He was only 4'11" so everything is pretty small. The boys are standing by a statue that shows how tall John was. I don't know who that crazy lady is in the background! ha ha ha!

Then Traci had to use the outhouse, but it was locked.

Later that evening we hung out and enjoyed our last night at this beautiful cabin! We even had a little campfire and did some S'mores! Sam and I even took a canoe ride late at night. It was so peaceful and beautiful.

I know this blog post is long, but I can't believe how much fun this vacation was! We stayed in such a beautiful cabin, had our own boat dock, 3 canoes, lots of room to run around in, and lots of great conversation. My only regret is that now it's over!

Darren took a lot of pictures I really liked. I'll put those in a separate post...