Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Such An Amateur!

I am laughing so hard!

Let me break it down for you:
Carson and Parker were just getting home from school. I went out onto my front porch to welcome them home. Parker had a smug look on his face and he yelled from across the street: "Mom! Carson said a bad word!"
By this time, Carson was already on the front porch next to me. I sternly looked at him and asked him what he said. He just smiled, so Parker screamed "He said AMATEUR!"

The belly laugh that broke free from Carson's mid-section TOTALLY made me laugh. I couldn't help it. It was so funny! Without thinking, I said "Parker, that's not a bad word!".

If you know Parker, he absolutely HATES being the butt of a joke. By this time Carson and I are laughing so hard, and I know I needed to stop, but I couldn't. The damage was done...I had the giggles and couldn't stop.

Parker was very ticked off. He took off his shoes and threw them at Carson, then he tried hitting him with his backpack as he ran downstairs screaming "I'm not going to do my homework, I don't want dinner, and I don't want dessert!" Yeah, for some reason when Parker gets mad he punishes himself. We're looking into it.

So I got myself under control and went downstairs to talk to him. As I got there, he was listing off all the toys he wanted to throw away....again, I don't understand it....
So, I tried to be compassionate and I explained to him what "amateur" meant. After a few minutes, he calmed down. Then he ran upstairs to where Carson was doing his homework and screamed "Yeah, well YOU are an amateur!", to which Carson smiled, and Cameron, RIGHT ON QUEUE, said "ha ha, ya burnt!", which is a 30 Rock reference that I love.

At that point, we all busted a gut laughing and Parker promptly finished his homework. Just another day in the life of the Sweet's. The older my boys get, the more I love it because the bantering cracks me up.

Parker brought these faces home from school, I tried to make him laugh by putting them up to my face, but he just rolled his eyes....until I gave the faces to Cameron, then we all larfed out lard.

What a nut!

And yes, Cameron finally pooped last night in the ter-lit. It was a big celebration. Unfortunately, he has to go again as we speak. That's the lame thing about Cameron, he's too regular for his own good! Maybe I should have him eat a bunch of cheese.... KIDDING! KIDDING!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I Need A Life

I'm seriously the worst! Cameron has had to do big business on the potty since last night. He cries and has to sit on the toilet every 5 minutes, just to "tighten up", and beg to get off the toilet. Finally I got so sick of the drama I told him he has to stay on the toilet until he...performs. It's taking so long and I'm sooooo sick of sitting in the bathroom (he insists somebody be with him). I finally asked Carson to read him books while I "worked". Carson has been in the bathroom with Cameron for 30 minutes so far and his reading is just getting more and more animated and better and better. He seriously is the best kid.

However, the pee-pee part of potty training is almost perfected! Give that kid a few more days and he's going to be a rock star, I just know it!

The other morning after going pee, he exclaimed very loudly "I did everything right!!!" Oh man, it was awesome.

Carson has his annual blue and gold banquet the other day. It was wonderful! Carson was in charge of a game where he filled latex gloves with water and the kids had to "milk the cow" and see who could milk the fastest. That would have been a great opportunity for me to explain udders to Parker, but I'm still ignoring that topic right now. Cut me some slack, I'm up to my udder in potty talk as it is!!

I think I need to interact with some grown-ups for awhile. I'm starting to lose it.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

What Happens When You Are The Youngest?

When you are the youngest, you feel like you get the short end of the stick, a lot.

Cameron wants to be just like Carson and Parker, which is cute at first. Then it can be slightly frustrating. If Carson talks potty talk, so does Cameron. If Parker says he doesn't want to go to bed, then neither does Cameron.

For the last month, Cameron has a melt down every time Carson and Parker go to school because HE WANTS TO GO TO SCHOOL TOO!!! I thought I was being clever when I "played school" at home...I was the teacher, Cameron was the student. There may have been paper, pencils, crayons, and scissors involved as well. That lasted for about 3 minutes, then Cameron got wise to me. He was ticked. I'd like to think it's because he's smart,not because my pretend-skills were lacking.

I knew I was in a losing battle. So, I asked my sister-in-law, who is a preschool teacher at a local elementary school, about my predicament. She told me that her school offers a class for "young 3's", which is for kids who are almost 3 or just turned 3. I was elated! I contacted the school district offices and snagged the last opening they had.

Cameron started school yesterday. He goes Tuesdays and Thursdays for 1 1/2 hours. It's barely enough time to grocery shop and maybe get gas by myself, but it is enough time for Cameron to feel independent and soooooo happy! He pretty much thinks he's big man on campus right now!

I'll admit though, I was a little sad when he stood with his classmates, getting ready to head inside the school. The child won't be 3 until next month! He's going to have over 2 years of preschool. Here's hoping he REALLY loves it!!

Oh, I almost forgot to mention Valentines Day!! I had a nice day. For Sam, I decided to iron all his shirts instead of buying him a gift. To you, this may seem sooo lame. But, you need to know our history....

Sam always irons his own shirts. He doesn't iron ahead of time though, so each morning he heads to the laundry room to iron his shirt for that day. That's just how it's been for the duration of our marriage. Ironing has just not been written on my "to do" list. I thought that would be so awesome because that will save him tons of time each morning. took me almost 4 hours to get it done! Sam has 21 shirts that needed ironing! I'll save you the trouble and do the math myself: it took me on average, 11 minutes per shirt. I know that's a long time, but I wanted these shirts to be PERFECT! Plus, I had to deal with Cameron too so some of that time was spent dealing with the small child. Regardless, it was a major undertaking. Sam was so surprised and LOVED it, so it was all worth it! Next year I may just take them to the cleaners to be pressed! :)

Sam brought home a beautiful bouquet of roses for me and some awesome pajamas. I guess he's tired of seeing me in mens plaid pajama bottoms and an old T-shirt. ha ha! Who says romance isn't alive after 12+ years of marital bliss?!?

We played games with friends that night and really enjoyed their company, it was a great day!

This morning Parker woke up a few hours before he needed to. He said "I can't sleep!". Sam and I both just told him to lay down and rest his eyes. By the time I got up at 6:30am, Parker was burning up. Uh-oh....he's got a fever. Too bad too, he was supposed to get his "climbing higher" award at school today. It's an award they only get once per year. Their name gets called over the intercom at school, they head to the library and get a picture with the principal, and get taped for the whole school to watch on TV on Friday morning. I called the school to see if they could push it back a week and they said they were unable to because there are so many students it would be too hard. Bummer. Parker was pretty bugged. Oh well, a fever is a fever is a fever is a fever. Parker makes for one of the cutest sick kids around though, so it's kind of fun that I get to hang with him all day. He says stuff like: "Mom, I feel fine until I stand up, then everything gets weird and my legs are weak and my head sort of hurts...." then he get a confused look and slowly lays back down. So sweet.

Friday, February 11, 2011

It's A Work In Progress...

Well, I had several disgusting "mom days". If my hair was long enough, there WOULD be a scrunchy in it!

Here's the bizarre thing about Cameron. He has pooped in the ter-lit several times, but the child cannot tinkle in the porcelain throne. So, after going through several pairs of underwear and awesome rubber training pants, the child is back in diapers. However, he still asks to sit on the potty at least 4 times per day, which we hope will bring success! We still have the sticker chart and unopened train toys to encourage and reward him with. And, as long as I'm talking "potty talk", I think it's time to revisit my all time favorite joke:

A pirate walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Hey, you have a steering wheel down your pants!"
The pirate says "Argggghhh, it's drivin' me nuts!!"

ha ha. Seriously, HA HA!

Oh hey, guess what we did last Saturday? We went to Discovery Gateway, the childrens museum. We took my nephew with us just because there aren't enough boys in my world I suppose. It was a blast!

How many other faces have been shoved into this hole? On second though, don't tell me!

Water + Kids = Fun

I took the big kids to a toothpaste making class, which was hysterical! Imagine brushing your teeth with this: 4 tsp baking soda, 1 tsp salt, 1 tsp water, and orange or mint flavoring. The boys were so excited about it. They came home and brushed their teeth.....and then promptly gagged and spit and groaned, "It's soooo salty!!! YUCK!!!" I had a good laugh and then acted all serious and told them to not waste it and keep brushing! ha ha!

Cameron was happy pushing a doll around in a mini shopping cart. Too bad I don't have any dolls at my house! Disssssss!

Having a helicopter on the roof of a childrens museum is always a good idea.

Just messing around:

To keep with the potty talk theme: Parker told me the other day that he was glad he wasn't a cow because "it would be so annoying to have everybody pulling on your nuts like that all the time!" I didn't have the heart to explain udders to him. I just looked at him all serious like and said "yeah, I guess you're right".

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Ya Win Some, Ya Lose Some

First of all, to start off on the positive side:

Cameron is a super-star regarding his big boy bed. He NEVER gets out of bed, he sleeps all night, and in the morning...he STILL yells at me from his room "Mooooommmm! Can I get up now?". Pretty funny! Also, his naps have never been better. I swear, yesterday I had to go into his room to make sure he was still there because I hadn't heard anything from him for 3 1/2 hours! Every morning he says "I grew bigger while I was in my big-boy bed!"

Now, just so you don't think Cameron is perfect (seriously, if you really think that you haven't hung out with us very much, he's mr grumpy pants, after all!)...

Today I decided I would try potty training Cameron. We have 20 diapers left and if I can train him before breaking open a new box of diapers I will save so much money! Oh yeah, changing 'dirty' diapers would be a thing of the past, which would make me a very happy momma.

Luckily, my friend just potty trained her daughter so she let me borrow the plastic training pants that you can put over their underwear. That way if he has an accident it doesn't go on my new carpet. Unfortunately, the plastic training pants were very girly. I about died laughing when I put them on Cameron.

The best part was when Sam came home from work and saw Cameron. He said "hi buddy, whatcha wearing?" Cameron said "they are so snuggly!". I had to cover my mouth I was laughing so hard.

Unfortunately, since noon (when I put underwear on Cameron), he has had 3 accidents in his pants and zero successes on the ter-let. Grrrr.

Tonight I went to Target and bought some cool 'Thomas and Friends' underwear so I can use the guilt trip of "you don't want to pee on Thomas do you?? Then make sure you use the potty!". I also bought some boy-ish plastic training pants so I don't do some serious damage to the kid. However, check out the sizing chart on the new underwear!

At first I was so confused: Some toddlers have a 38 inch waist???? And they only weigh 16-18 pounds??? ha ha! Classic. I'm going to submit this picture to Consumer Reports for their "goofs, glitches, and gotcha" page.

I absolutely hate potty training. It's just a huge pain no matter which method you use. The only solution would be to hire somebody to do it for me! Seriously, I'll pay $50 to whoever wants to potty train this child 'o mine. Any takers??? Buhler....Buhler.....Buhler? **sigh**

Here's to a disgusting mom-day tomorrow. I should probably just wear sweats and put my hair in a scrunchy.