A Time To Learn

Remember how my last post was about me not having enough faith that the rain would stop before the ward party?

Well, I guess I have a llllooooonnnnngggggg way to go in the faith department because on Tuesday I found out my job with Beneficial Life is coming to an end.

My honest, first reaction: peace.
My honest, second reaction: Why would I think "Peace"??? I'm freaking out here!
My honest, third reaction: Okay, here's my "trial of my faith". I'm going to try really hard to put my trust in Heavenly Father because I know this is what's best for me.

There are a lot of reasons why this is hard for me, but right off the bat it's hard because I've never been laid off before. It's quite humbling. Most of all, it's hard because I loved my job. I loved the people I worked with and worked for. I laughed my guts out every time I went into the office. I've played COUNTLESS jokes on my co-workers and I've received countless pranks back on me. I was accepted for who I was, and humbly speaking, I was really good at what I did. I've learned how to not cry when insurance agents are screaming obscenities at me, and in the same phone call, diffuse their anger until we were laughing like old buddies. This job kept my brain sharp because there were challenges every day that we had to overcome. I've had numerous co-workers-turned-friends come and go and I've kept many of those friendships as the years have gone by, even if they live out of state now. I've seen Beneficial practically turn upside down and inside out in all the changes they've made over the years, but I never saw this coming. I never in my wildest dreams thought they would cease to exist.

Beneficial first became a company in May of 1905. I thought they were here to stay forever, but with the market the way it is, and since we are a smaller insurane company (in the grand scheme of things) it was our time to close. I work in the New Business department. As of August 31st, Beneficial will no longer accept new applications for life insurance. From August 31st looking forward, Beneficial will service it's current policy holders until the last beneficiary has been paid (this could be 80+ years, who knows??). At that point, Beneficial will close for good.

Since I'm in New Business, my job will end on August 31st. Beneficial is being amazing about the whole process, and I would expect nothing less, they are always amazing about everything. I will receive 6 months of severence pay. They have hired a service to help people find jobs elsewhere and people can use that service for 6 months. Heck, we can even keep our computers, office chairs, office equipment.... when we leave, free of charge! Seriously, this company has spoiled me over my 13 years with them and I have nothing but positive things to say about my experience.

Can you believe I was 21 when I started there? I found a team Christmas picture we took in 1996, 3 months after I started working there. Blurry, but fun. Have I changed??


Here I am at the United Way "Day of Caring". We had to paint a mobile home. It was crazy. It was hot. The paint fumes made me a little crazy I think. See the guy's legs standing on the porch? Those would belong to Neal. Neal and his wife Natalie, set me up on a date with a young Sam Sweet! By the way, that is the tannest I have ever been. Now my legs are as white as my shirt in this picture!


Speaking of Sam...
So I married Sam in August of 1998, almost 2 years after starting at Beneficial. So, thanks to my job and getting to know Neal, I married Sam. How many people can thank their jobs for their wonderful marriage?? Isn't he so adorable? I just want to pinch those cheeks!


So, I started Beneficial when I was a fresh-from-Seattle 21 year old. Two years later I married Sam. 2 years after that I had Carson. Almost 4 years later I had Parker. One year after Parker was born I made the scary proposition to my boss and asked her to let me go part time, working from home. This was a bold move on my part because nobody from my department had ever been able to work from home. Luckily, I made a good case for myself and after about 100 hurdles, I was able to make it work for almost 4 years. 15 months ago I had Cameron, and because I had lots of work deadlines right at the same time Cameron was born, I only took one day of maternity leave. How's that for dedication?? :)

So now begins the new chapter in my life.

What am I going to do now? Well, I'm going to try really hard and stay out of the work force, for the first time since I was about 16. I feel like I owe it to my children to be a full time mother. They deserve to have a mom who can take them to the park in the middle of the day instead of a mom who sits at her computer all day working. They deserve a mom who can just sit and play with them instead of worrying about that deadline that is nagging at her conscience. Not sure how we are going to do it because on paper, it's pretty much impossible.

However, as many of my friends have told me....have faith. Keep doing what you should be doing and everything will work out as it's supposed to. I really do believe that. I've seen it work for so many people. I'm going to learn to have better faith and do whatever is required of me in order to make this new chapter a success.

I'm so thankful for the associations and experiences I have had in my employment with Beneficial. However, it's time to move on. I think Heavenly Father knew I would never have the guts to quit on my own, so he's easing me into it with baby steps. How could I ever be upset by that?